This is not Goodbye … it’s only see ya later!

Me & My Son Nate
Summer 2012
So today my summer ends , today i am sad because my son Nate is going back to his dad’s and next time ill see him there will be snow on the ground and a christmas tree in our living room. 
So in this post i wanted to reflect on my summer and my incredible little man …..
It’s hard to think  that he is leaving , its hard to think about the things i will have to come up with for him to leave happy even though i know in my heart no words or actions could prevent the sadness and tears there will be when it’s time to go . And i know in my heart that it will break and i will hurt all over again.
But this isnt goodbye , its see ya later …. 
Tonight i sat by his bed and watched him sleep while i put my fingers through his soft light brown hair , reminded me of back when he was a newborn and id just look at him sleep and think wow , i made this and he’s mine. He still squints his face and smiles while he sleeps , he still sleeps with his arm on his forehead.
And he still sleeps with the blanky i bought him when i was 7 months pregnant and everytime he comes over he asks me to spray my perfume on it so that when he goes back to his dad’s he can smell me and pretend im there. Even though it hurts my heart to hear him say that , i think its the most sweetest thing ive ever been asked to do. 
He’s going to be starting  2nd grade in just a week … my first baby will be in 2nd grade !! WHAT! i can’t believe that , it’s crazy …like weren’t you a baby not too long ago? and now here you are writting me letters and helping me with dishes and dinner , tying your baby brother’s shoes for him , hugging your baby sister because she’s upset that her favorite doll is missing …. Hugging me because im sad your leaving.
As tear flow down my cheeks , i must say i am very proud of the young man i have raised . Even if the miles that seperate us seem like lighyears away … i know that just with everything i taught him and everything i have done for that little guy , he will always know that he’s always on my mind and forever in my heart.And the smile on his beautiful face says it all….
This summer , i enjoyed lots of things with my son … we went to tubes & jujubes and met with old friends from BC , we went to local fairs and ate so many hotdogs one night that we burped til the next day haha…
Went fishing with papi and didnt catch anything but had a nice hot chocolate when we got home that cheered us up.We baked goodies and shared some memories with the family picture album. I watched him make his own sandwiches by himself without any help and that made me die a little because its something we all are proud of when our kids can make their own toasts in the morning and we get 30mins to sleep in…. 30mins is 30 mins and ill take all the extra minutes i can get ….We saw a reptile petting zoo , even though i almost sh*t my pants with the snakes . We took lots of pictures , we visited papi in the hospital , we went to the park and i finally got to take him back to school shopping like i always wanted to since he left in 2010.
I look forward to winter vacation and i look forward to putting my fingers through his hair and watch him sleep because even though he is 7 ………… he will ALWAYS be my baby…..

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